Satisfy Me.

morning...

To keep from suffocating and to counteract the overactive heater turning my room into an oven, I opened a window early this morning to let some cool Chicago air in. The sky is full of puffy gray clouds and the rain is gently falling (although this could change at any moment to a torrential downpour). The usual Saturday traffic is racing by 5 floors below me on LaSalle Boulevard.

I’m staring at my laptop and my slightly cluttered desk. My guitar is comfortably leaning against the dresser just inches out of my reach taunting me with it’s shiny new strings and the promise of reestablishing the rapidly decreasing calluses on my fingers. The clouds are consuming the sky at the moment, but it’s not dark or gloomy outside.

The refreshing chilly breeze is continually blowing my bangs into my eyes. But I don’t mind this morning. I’m grateful for the fresh air and the life it seems to bring into my room.

The light traffic and falling rain rhythmically blending in with the Tenth Avenue North playlist on iTunes creates the perfect soundtrack for my morning.

My coffee is slowly brewing in the purple French Press I just had to have this summer. The familiar smell permeates the air as the wind blows through.

While waiting for my coffee, I’m happily munching away on my gluten, dairy, and soy free apple pie Lara Bar.


Usually a rainy morning of being stuck working would be classified as miserable. But not this particular morning. I’m feeling gracious, weather-wise at least, and am accepting, even enjoying, how new and beautiful today is.

The sporadic rain and shifting clouds allowing the dazzling blue sky to make it’s appearance truly is magnificent! I see God’s hand in all of it.

For the moment, I’m content where I am. My room is peaceful and safe and, although it’s a little messy and I have lots to accomplish, I’m unusually calm and genuinely happy to be exactly where I am. Both emotionally and physically.

It’s one of those mornings where I have no problem believing that God is good.


afternoon...

“BroSis event” isn’t the phrase that comes to mind when I think about things that make me happy. But, hanging out with the girls on my floor is important to me. And I guess getting to know the guys on my brother floor is a good thing, too. And I can’t complain about taking a break from homework!

This afternoon a group of us took the Water Taxi to China Town. It was fun, a little chilly, semi-adventurous, and full of laughter.

And I have no desire to elaborate on this event at the moment. But I’ll post pictures soon. :)


evening...

This evening finds me in the same physical place this morning did - back in my room working on newspaper stuff and homework. Mentally, however, I’m surviving this evening millions of miles away. I’m distracted by the dream of going to back to Africa this summer, of California sunsets at the coast, of Outer Space, of anywhere but where I am.

I can’t get away from a few memories and the negative thoughts and emotions that follow. These memories that so easily sneak into my mind and inundate my thoughts are underhandedly destroying all attempts at concentration right now. I’m beyond a little annoyed and am frustrated and feel pestered by them without a just cause.

Life is changing. My state of “normal” has dramatically changed in the past month and my brain is scrambling to update to this forced new version.


And through it all, I’m fighting my urge to doubt God’s goodness. The God that seemed so wonderful to me this morning hasn’t changed in the past 12 hours. Thankfully.



I’m begging You, to help me see, You’re all I want, You’re all I need, oh satisfy me Lord. -Satisfied by Tenth Avenue North