"I'm Sorry."

“Love means never having to say you’re sorry.”

That line comes from the 1970s movie Love Story.

And the line is false. Oh. So. False.

It sounds deceivingly great though. And the statement would be true if we were all perfect all the time. But, regardless of how hard I try, I’m not perfect. I often do and say things that hurt others. Sometimes intentionally and sometimes entirely unaware.

I learned from a young age that I needed to say “sorry” when I’ve done something wrong. But it’s been in the past 5 years that I’ve had a greater understanding of what that means. And the freedom it has the potential to bring.

When I was younger, generally speaking, the things I had to apologize for didn’t change the relationships I was in. My parents occasionally made new rules, but they were still my parents. They loved me the same. I wish all relationships could be like that... that the consequences weren’t so... messy.

Being sorry is great and all, but it’s not quite enough. There need to be words and actions that make the situation right again. “It’s the thought that counts” doesn't cut it.

When I’ve hurt the people I’m close to, I desire to make it right. I don’t like the distant feeling or the guilt I feel when the relationship isn’t right and it's my fault.

I know that perfect love kills all fear and that God’s love is perfect. And because of that, I don’t have to fear God’s love.

So, all that said, I’m learning to say “I’m sorry” and to love without fear.