I’ve been thinking a lot about this past semester and have three big things that I learned. The first two are a little more serious than the last one.
Medicine can have emotional side effects. Oh my goodness. Back in December when my appendix was being weird and everything inside of me just wasn’t cooperating, my doctor put me on medicine in a futile attempt to help regulate everything. What she failed to tell me was that the medicine would have emotional side effects as well as some physical ones. “Disaster” is the word that comes to mind. I was sad, grumpy, overwhelmed, and irrational randomly and without a real explanation as to why for the four months I was on it. It felt like I wasn’t entirely in control of how I emotionally reacted to a situation. I knew that I wasn’t responding normally, but I couldn’t get back to being my normal self. And that was frustrating. It also made my already present struggle with anxiety intensified.
That said, it made for a rough semester. I’m no longer on the medicine and am feeling SO much better.
Joy is... I was given the task about a month ago to write my personal “reflections on joy”. After numerous tries, I finally got it written. I love writing, but this was one of the most frustrating things I’d been assigned to compose. (I think the medicine had something to do with it? We’ll say it did.) All semester I’d been tirelessly working on finding and maintaing a positive attitude, but it just wasn’t there. A dark cloud seemed to be constantly looming over me regardless of the circumstance. So, writing about joy was a good challenge for me. Anyways that’s a little background info on it so now you can read it for yourself!
If there’s one thing I’ve learned since I came to Moody, it’s to search for joy and then cling to it. Let’s be honest, sometimes life is repulsive. It’s miserable and painful and full of dark eerie clouds and dark eerie people. Although these people and situations are temporary in the light of eternity, they have real earthly consequences which cause real pain, leaving real scars. We can’t let these people or situations steal our joy. I believe that joy is one of our most valuable possessions. It’s something easily sparked, yet extinguished just as simply.
Though joy can be found in a person, an object, a relationship, or a feeling, these things are not where it originates from. God is our source of joy and I believe that when a person or a situation is rooted in Him, then we can truly experience it. Even through trials, joy can be found when we’re looking to God. Joy is not found in the despair or the darkness, but in the hope of what God is doing through these challenging times. We can trust that God is always at work in our lives and that He is faithful and good despite a hard circumstance. It’s in that hope and promise that we can find joy.
Little Tomatoes. I just love them. I don’t even want to know how many I’ve eaten between the SDR or the Commons this past semester. It’s an addiction that I have no desire to conquer. :)
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