Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Keeping Me Guessing.

This past weekend I found something that scares me more than snakes. Crazy, I know! Pain. It scares me. Not entirely the physical pain itself, but the uncertainty of it. There’s a good chance that I might have a slow-developing case of appendicitis. Before we all freak out, I said *might*. I’m not at the ER currently but am prepared to go if the pain increases or I start throwing up. I’m not in a lot of pain right now, but over the weekend I was. The pain lasted for a few hours and then went away, but since it did not last or escalate it was not something to panic about. I have the rest of the symptoms for appendicitis and my appendix is swollen and uncomfortable. However, as the doctor told me a few hours ago, before it gets to an emergency state, I will have a few hours of intense pain. The pain is my signal to go to the ER. But I could be waiting a few more hours, days, or weeks. Uncertainty is the name of this game.
So I can’t really do anything about the pain until it comes. That’s what scares me - I'm waiting to hurt.
Since I’m just...waiting...I’m trying to use my time wisely. I’m working on papers, memorizing Greek vocabulary, and attempting to study for finals. And with all the nervous energy I currently have, I'm sure my room will be reorganized a few different times!
I’m a little scared, but...
I know that God’s timing is perfect.
I know that God sees me and my schedule.
I know that God is the great physician.
I know that God is loving and good.
I know that God is faithful.
And I know that God knows what’s going on with my appendix. I just have to surrender.
“Cause I don’t know how the story ends, but I’ll be alright cause You wrote it. I don’t know where the highway bends, but I’m doing just fine cause You’re in control.”

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