Don't Say Goodbye. Please?

My goodbyes tend to be lugubrious.

I’m horrible at saying “goodbye”. I tend to make them more dramatic than they need to be. Lots of people can testify to that. Whether it’s for a few days or a few months, they just don’t go very well. Especially in airports, church, parking lots, dorm rooms, homes… Anywhere I guess.

When I know I have to say bye to someone, the song “Say Goodbye” by Skillet plays on repeat in my head. The dramatic piano introduction that gradually builds to the heart wrenching chorus… Then the key change… Finally to the ending that just kind of drops off. At the end of it, I just want to run away from everyone and everything.

I said my first "big goodbye” on Sunday. Worship team. Change is in the air and I don’t know if there will be a place for me for the few months of the year I’m at Cedar Grove. I’ve poured so much time and effort into it and it’s something I’m passionate about. The different teams I’ve worked with have been wonderful. Whether I’m on the team or not, I’ll have the relationships that were built and the skills that I’ve learned. Nonetheless, it’s still hard to leave it.

The next “big goodbye” will be to my family and close friends. My parents, sister, grandma, Alicia, Danny, Kendra, Trina, Rusty. Again, like worship team, it’s hard walking away from the people I’ve spent so much time with knowing it will be slightly different in a few months when I’m in California again.

And the last “big goodbye” will be to Robert. How do you not see someone you love for months at a time and stay sane? I’ve spent so many hours with him this summer going on long walks, getting lost in Monterey, going on adventures, taking pictures, cooking, watching movies, making a diaper wreath... Lets be honest - he’s my boyfriend - he’s apart of my everyday life. And he still will be, but in a different way. I like the way things are right now, so the thought of it drastically changing is overwhelming, even though I know it’s going to be okay.


I just don’t like goodbyes and that’s all there is to it.


“And although we knew this time would come for me and you, don’t say anything tonight if you’re gonna say goodbye”