Written April 10, 2010
“I don’t think I feel anything,” I said to a friend after a long conversation.
“You know that’s not possible. You’re feeling things, just not acknowledging them,” was her quaint reply.
“Fine,” I impatiently retorted, “What do I do?”
“Tell God. Write it all out," was the simple response.
Here’s a piece of what I wrote that night:
I feel broken, but You can have all the pieces and arrange them how You want.
I feel discouraged, but You are shaping my dreams.
I feel lost, but You know where I am and You'll never leave me.
I feel scared, but You defeated my greatest enemy and You’re fighting for me.
I feel ashamed, but Your blood bought me and made me a daughter of the King.
I feel confused, but You are aware of my fragmented thoughts and understand them.
I feel scarred, but You gave me a new identity when You redeemed me.
I feel weak, but You are strong in my helplessness.
I feel empty, but You put Your unfading treasure inside me.
I feel rebellious, but Your love sets me free.
God, I can’t see You or feel You and I’m struggling to believe You’re still here. I gave my life to an invisible being and I’m craving Your voice and touch right now. Let me know You’re real. Please.
“I don’t think I feel anything,” I said to a friend after a long conversation.
“You know that’s not possible. You’re feeling things, just not acknowledging them,” was her quaint reply.
“Fine,” I impatiently retorted, “What do I do?”
“Tell God. Write it all out," was the simple response.
Here’s a piece of what I wrote that night:
I feel broken, but You can have all the pieces and arrange them how You want.
I feel discouraged, but You are shaping my dreams.
I feel lost, but You know where I am and You'll never leave me.
I feel scared, but You defeated my greatest enemy and You’re fighting for me.
I feel ashamed, but Your blood bought me and made me a daughter of the King.
I feel confused, but You are aware of my fragmented thoughts and understand them.
I feel scarred, but You gave me a new identity when You redeemed me.
I feel weak, but You are strong in my helplessness.
I feel empty, but You put Your unfading treasure inside me.
I feel rebellious, but Your love sets me free.
God, I can’t see You or feel You and I’m struggling to believe You’re still here. I gave my life to an invisible being and I’m craving Your voice and touch right now. Let me know You’re real. Please.
